Birthday’s are supposed to be happy and special days filled with celebrations, presents, expressions of love, and well wishes for a dreamy year ahead. They are typically brimming with things like cake and ice cream, hugs and kisses, flowers and the blowing out of candles. Birthdays are replete with friends and family, laughter and joy, and maybe a drink or piece of cake too many.
Birthdays are usually fun… right?
But somehow, when I woke up this morning, this birthday felt different to me. Yes, I started my day off with my eyes still closed in my bed and thoughts of gratitude running around in my head – reciting the things I am grateful for in the moment – like the fact that I woke up and could see and move and breathe. Like the knowing that I have another day ahead of me to make the most of whatever and whoever is in front of me. Like knowing that God is good and that life is a great adventure if that’s what I choose to make of it. And then, my morning ritual was interrupted with something else. Some decidedly not so grateful thoughts began to swirl around, like
Boy, this year so far (meaning 2015) has been a bit tough. Running through my mind was my nephew Sean’s passing in January, my mom’s recent car accident, and some other tough things I’ve been through in the past several months. It was as if my usually well-directed mind had a mind of its own, and before I knew it I was feeling sorry for myself. Yep, me…
I was feeling sorry for myself on my birthday.
A tear even rolled down the side of my face. And when it slid into my ear, the tickling sensation brought me to the awareness of what I had allowed myself to do. I had allowed my mind to wander into what is usually well-guarded territory. I had allowed my thoughts to meander down the road of “woe is me”.
I had ‘lost my mind’ and when I did my emotions followed.
I knew better than this. I’ve done the work to release the negative thinking and I knew better than most to live in the positive aspects of life. Heck, I had trained myself pretty darn well. And yet, there I was, feeling sorry for myself on what was supposed to be a day of celebrating me.
I knew what I had to do!
I rolled out of bed and stretched my body. Then I went into the bathroom, positioned myself in front of the mirror, stared myself straight in the eyes and, despite the bags I saw, said Happy Birthday, Beautiful. I love you! Then, I did something I hadn’t done in quite some time that used to be my ‘go to’ for feeling good and bringing a positive vibe into my space – I sang the Ren and Stimpy song Happy Happy Joy Joy (well, let’s be clear that it’s my personal version of the song). And mind you, not only did I sing the song, I belted it out. And I repeated it over and over until I felt my energy rising and the blood flowing in my heart and my limbs as I clapped along and bounced my head to the beat. And then, I did the most important thing of all…
I Decided that Today is a Day of Celebration
Now, some of you might think I’m a little bit crazy – or maybe even a lot crazy. That’s okay by me. What I know for sure is that making a single decision and a declaration makes a huge difference for what my day ahead will bring. I am happy to be alive and grateful to be able to focus my thinking mind to lift my emotional state to a place that feels good for me. And I am especially blessed to be able to celebrate my 55th year on this planet – and believe me, I do plan to celebrate.
Happy Birthday to Me!
PS.And now here’s what’s playing in the background… HAPPY by Pharrell
PSS. Here’s a video to have a good belly laugh with Amy Schumer and Ellen DeGeneres.
Wishing you the joy of celebration!