I feel as though my bandwidth is being tested these days. It’s as though I can’t possibly fit all the people, productivity, and joy in my life that I am drawn to right now. I have made commitments in my business to deliver certain things that require my thinking mind to be fully—or at least, mostly—present with the tasks. I have deadlines, that were created by me, that are hard and fast because of what is in motion. I woke up at 3:04am thinking about these deadlines and tasks and wondering if my to-do list is complete or if it’s missing something. My belly was aflutter, and my brain was ‘all over the place’. I allowed exhaustion to take over, and apparently fell asleep, because the next thing I knew it was 6:41am and my brain was at it again.
I feel myself being stretched.
And then my mind goes to the people in my life. As each month passes, I add more and more people to my experience. This happens naturally in our network and publishing company, and it truly invigorates and excites me… until it doesn’t. Somehow, along the way and in the process of adding people to my life, I’ve lost track of people I really love and care about; people I love to have great conversations and deep belly laughs with; people I can share my secrets and dreams with; people who know me and love me anyway.
There just don’t seem to be enough hours in the day.
And the joy? Where is the joy? How is it that I’ve put my own joy on the back burner? How is it that my to-do list doesn’t prioritize my personal joy at or near the top of the list? Yes, I did ‘take the weekend off’ from work to spend it with some dear friends that we haven’t seen in nearly two years, and it was great—relaxing, fun, loving, and a complete departure from what I’ve allowed myself to be mired in the past few months. Or has it been the past few years?
Here’s the deal… even as I write these words I recognize that I am a complex woman. There are more layers to me than any onion I’ve ever peeled and probably, just like you, I am opening myself to new ways of being, and thinking, and doing, every single day.
I’m a work in progress, and so are you.
Does it really matter if my bandwidth is maxed out right now? Is it important to have balance in my life every single day? I don’t think so. Admittedly, I am an ‘eggs all in one basket’ kind of gal—and for the most part, this works for me. Except when it doesn’t.
Putting all my energy and time towards the things I am committed to, making time for people I love, and allowing myself a nap in the middle of the day—this is how I juggle my full and busy life. And my experience has been that it all ‘balances’ out as I move through my life.
Yes, I know, “they” say balance is necessary, especially for women… The way I see it, I must follow my heart and go with the flow. I must feel my way energetically through the muck and do the work that matters to me. I must be open to the feelings of others, help when I can, steer clear when I must, and always, always, do what feels right and good to me.
I know that my bandwidth expands or reins me in
depending on what I can handle and what’s truly important.
And so, if you’re feeling over-extended, put upon, or run ragged, I invite you to relax into it. Remind yourself what truly matters. Cross those things off your list that are unnecessary or reschedule them if they can wait. As far as we know, we have this one beautiful life here in our bodies on this planet, and it is up to us how we spend our precious time, who we include in our lives, and what contribution we make.
Life is a beautiful dance. Angels are ever-present to assist you. You are more capable and powerful than you can wrap your head around.
Breathe in grace. Exhale gratitude. You’ve got this.
Now, that’s powerful!
With love and expansiveness,
BOY does this speak to me directly! I just had this conversation about 10 days ago as I felt rather burnt out and stretched thin. The fact that you brought up joy… when I felt my most ragged, I saw that word in the most random and strange places for two days straight, and I realized I had none! I was able to take something off my plate and I still feel extremely busy, but I am now letting the joy back in. I am glad to know I am not alone in this. When we live big lives, taking on too much is par for the course. But, if we don’t continually test our limits, then expansion is impossible! Thank you so much for this share, it meant a lot to me personally.
Perhaps, unintentionally you have disconnected from the Vine. At times in eagerness to help others, we lose sight of the most important objective connectivity to the spirit which guides, counsels and provide wisdom. Somehow when connection to the Vine is surrendered time is added to our day supernaturally. Scripture the most truthful source of information in the earth’s realm tells us. “I am the vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so the will produce even more. You have already been prune for greater fruitfulness by the message. I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful apart from me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:1-5)
This journey called life will only be indeed successful connected to the vine. By chance have you disconnect from the vine?
Love and Peace,