“Judgment and blame are the weightiest thoughts of all, as they lack love.”
Marianne Williamson
“I forgive myself.” Imagine saying these words and meaning them.
Imagine truly being able to forgive yourself for things you have done or said in the past. Imagine truly letting go of the regrets, the sorrow and the immense heaviness of your burdened heart. Most who read these words will admit that it would be nice to be able to do it. Some will feel the pull towards freedom and love, and so they will start by saying the affirmations and doing the ceremonial dance of forgiveness in their heads. Still others will look inside themselves to the soul behind the regrettable action and try to make amends.
And yet most individuals, finding it too painful to dredge up the past, will simply bury the pain and remorse deeper and deeper in hopes that it would be lost forever.
They will say that is it water under the bridge and that there is nothing they can do about it now. They convince themselves that the act, although unsavory or hurtful, was something that could not have been helped. They may try to move forward with love in their hearts. Yet, the chains of unforgiveness that bind a heavy heart and a mind filled with memories of lost chances and broken dreams are too strong and powerful to be loosed in one simple session of forgiveness. Or, are they?
Forgiveness is an act of love. It is the pure and holy release of pain, resentment and anger. In fact, it is the transformation of this pain, resentment and anger to the holiness of freedom, openness and bliss.
To believe there is something to forgive implies that there was a wrong-doing or ‘something bad’ that occurred, and to hold this thought is to place blame or judgment on a particular action, situation or person. When you hold yourself hostage with your judgments and perceptions of that which you believe is unholy, then you are holding yourself away from love. You cannot hold judgment and love in the same heart for they cannot co-exist there. You must choose either love or judgment. You must either choose love or blame. No one else chooses this but you.
The way to release the judgment, blame and resentment is to see beyond it to the love that always exists. Yes, you have said things that you wish you could take back. Yes, you have taken some actions and would like a ‘do over’. These things do not negate the pure love that exists within you and that is the essence of the real you. This love is always present. You may have covered it up with the muck of the negative memories of the past. You may have told the story of your wrong-doing so many times that you have actually forgotten the innocent babe who was born to this world as pure love and light. You may have been in judgment of yourself for so long that the habit has become second nature. You may have held the pain for so long that you don’t know who you would be without it.
Forgiving yourself is not an easy task, but the steps themselves are simple and oh, so worth it! You must first think of the things for which you are blaming yourself or feeling guilty for. You may wish to write a list so that you can be thorough and also this will be a physical tool you can later use for release. Next you must accept that it happened, what you did or said, and what role you played. You will also look at the outcome or results of the infraction. Then, you must say to yourself, aloud or silently, “I accept my action and I release it to God for forgiveness”. If you wrote a list in the beginning of this process, you may wish to ceremoniously to tear it up, burn it or shread it.
Now, open yourself once more to the essence of the pure and loving being that you are and always have been. You can do this by picturing yourself encased in a ball of light, with the brightest part of the light emanating from the center of your heart. Focus on the feeling of love. As you see yourself in this way, you will be able to truly let go of the past, knowing that you are a good person who can and do affect great good in the world.
You may do this exercise whenever feelings of regret, remorse, anger, judgment or fear occur. You may choose to release one thing at a time or release many at once. Either way, do not rush the process; forgiveness is a sacred act. If you feel the need to forgive others, the same exercise can be used – you simply see them as well as yourself encased in the light at the end.
Forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself and all others whom you connect with. Forgiveness leads to freedom, and without it you cannot experience pure joy or bliss. Allow yourself this gift, so that you may allow yourself your life. Now, that’s Powerful!
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