What is this incessant need to make ourselves better? Why don’t we accept who we are and what we have as enough?
Blame it on Your Parents
Sure, this sounds a little bit harsh, but there is no denying the conditioning that took place in our formative years. We idolized our parents and looked to them for cues on everything we did and thought, who we hung out with, what was acceptable for our place in the household and in their hearts. We did things purely because it would make Mommy and Daddy happy, and we thrived on their approval. It’s no wonder that even in our 40’s and 50’s we still carry their voices in our heads and, perhaps subconsciously, are still trying to please them.
How can we Release Our Need for Their Approval?
Even though we intellectually recognize that the standards we are constantly holding ourselves up to are not of our own making and are often not even in alignment with what we feel in our hearts, these old habits and ways of being die hard.
Your Conscious Awareness and Vigilance will Cut the Ties that Bind You
As you move through your day, you must continually ask yourself, “Is this what I really want?”, “Am I doing this for me or for someone else?”, “Is this aligned with the essence of my Spirit?”. And even more importantly you must affirm to yourself all of the good that you are and the value you provide to society, your family and friends, and to the world. Affirmations may include things like, “I am whole and complete exactly as I am”, I am a loving and lovable Child of God”, “I am one with all of life”. As you pay attention to your feelings as you ask these questions and affirm these truths, you will find a veil being lifted and you will feel more balance and attuned to the essence of who you really are. You will know, beyond question, that you don’t need fixing!
You are Loved. Love Yourself.
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About the Author: Sue Urda is an Author, Speaker, Inspirer and Co-Founder of Powerful You! Women’s Network, She was named twice on Inc. Magazines list of the 500 Fastest-Growing Private Companies and is the author of two books, Powerful Intentions Everyday Gratitude and Empowering Transformations for Women. Sue’s vision is to contribute to a global consciousness of women helping women succeed in business and in life and to open them to truth of who they are. www.sueurda.com
I do this questioning every few hours in my day and get no resolve.
My apt was sold in NYC and I moved to Fl thinking I would be able to see my MOM now 89 more often. Unfortunately I am blocked by my 64 yr old sister whom has destroyed seemingly all ways of me seeing my Mom. She moved her out of a great assisted living facility 2 months after I moved to Fl. Then, moving her to her home where the Federal Laws of visiting a parent are non existent and Fl Doesn’t give a rats ass about helping me get any visitation rights. I have asked for standby help from the County Sheriff’s department where the Sheriff said call for a deputy to come and be around as my sister doesn’t want me in her home. I just want Mom to come out and see me. I found Mom at a day care center and they said I could visit for up to 20 hrs a month the second time i visited then changed it to giving me a warning for trespassing and the next time I would be arrested for coming on the property for no reason. I believe my sister is saying something to make them so this and have not received any info as stated their attorney would send me a letter. Feeling good and memories of family that were happy and to now deal with a bully sister getting away with lies and me having no recourse. I don’t have enough funds for an attny and sister says she has power of attorney and I went to the courthouse finding that she is only a trustee in my Mom’s trust. How does one get a psychopath put away when they have the upper hand of lies and support of the Sheriff’s department?
Sometimes no matter how hard we try, things don’t work out as we had planned. This is when we must accept that their is a higher plan for us than the one we have dreamed. I believe this is God’s plan. No amount of pushing against the system or other people will change God’s plan for us. Yes, we have free will, and in the end we must sometimes accept life as it presents itself to us in order to have some sort of peace and calm in our lives. I would say to you to follow your heart in doing what you know is good and right for you and your mom.
I find the Serenity Prayer to be of the utmost comfort~
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
May you find comfort and peace,